Overview

Most parents prefer obedient children, but there are some negative effects of over-obedience. The authoritarian parenting style is most associated with overly obedient children; this style is typically characterized with a lack of parent-child communication. If you demand complete compliance from your children without giving them any room to ask questions or form opinions, they might have a difficult time learning these things as they get older.

Acting Out

Young children may take the demand of obedience well, without opting for alternative options, but this might not be the case with pre-teens and teenagers. Rebelliousness to some extent is common in many children, but in families where children are not allowed to have any say in their lives, rebellion may come sooner and be more severe. Defiance may be passive or aggressive and can take many forms. Some children choose to lash out at their parents with arguments or by defying the rules. Others go to greater lengths by involving themselves in delinquent acts, such as truancy, fights or crime.

Independence

Children who are overly obedient may find it difficult to show independence, because others are always telling them what to do and how to think. A child must be able to develop his own personality and opinions in order to become increasingly independent. Learning the consequences to actions and having the ability to say “no” establishes the idea of power and independence that will follow your child into adulthood. Otherwise, the child will learn to be helpless and dependent on others.

Social Skills

In some cases, the development of social skills will be more complicated in overly obedient children because they will worry excessively about what others think of them or want from them. Diminished self-respect is a common result of over-obedience, because children learn to not believe in themselves and to never second-guess the motives of others. This, along with feeling uncomfortable in all social situations, makes the further acquisition of social skills even more difficult than it normally is for children.

Obedience With Others

While obedience is to be mostly expected with parents, other caregivers and teachers, it is not required with friends, random acquaintances or strangers. At times, children who have not been taught the difference between individuals who require obedience and those who do not will extend their compliance to others. This can lead to being bullied, dominated or negatively influenced by friends or other children and being taken advantage of or abused by adults and older children.