HOW TO BE YOURSELF It's not always easy to be ourselves. Sometimes, when we're with other people, we make choices or act in ways that are different from when we're alone. Here are some ways to prevent that from happening. * Know your values and stay true to them.* * Make your own choices, don't just go along with the crowd. * Respect yourself. * Think about your goals and act accordingly.   *HOW TO KNOW YOUR VALUES Your values are your personal inventory of what you consider most important in life. We all have values, but unless we take the time to think about those values, we can easily overlook them when we're making important choices. Here are some guidelines for identifying what you value. * Is this something that's important to you? * Do you feel good about this being important to you? * Would you feel good if people you respect knew that this was important to you? * Have you ever done anything that indicates that this is important to you? * Is this something you would stand by even if others made fun of you for it? * Does this fit in with your vision of who you are? Oftentimes we find ourselves in situations where we have to make a choice between two values that are in conflict with each other. At times like this we must be ready to distinguish between our higher values and our lower values. "You and Your Values" The Video This video encourages young adolescents: *  To develop a vision of who they are as individuals instead of seeing themselves only as members of a group. *  To develop confidence in their ability to make their own choices instead of letting the group make their choices for them. *  To look to their own values as guideposts for their choices and actions. see story synopsis . . .     "Big Changes, Big Choices" the 12-part series In Big Changes, Big Choices comedian/teen counselor Michael Pritchard helps young adolescents discover that they have the power and the responsibility to make the right choices for themselves.  more. . . For more information about individual videos in this 12-part series, click on the title below.   *  The Three Rs of Growing Up *  You and Your Values *  Enhancing Self-Esteem *  Setting & Achieving Goals *  Dealing With Pressures *  Handling Emotions *  Preventing Conflicts & Violence *  Saying No to Alcohol & Other Drugs *  Speaking of Sex *  Friendship *  Getting Along With Parents *  Respecting Others If your school or organization does not have these videos, you can purchase them from Live Wire Media, or request them from your local library.       Subscribe to our almost Monthly Newsletter Get breaking news and developments in character education and helpful tips and ideas that you can use with your own character education program. View this month's newsletter.       Send this page to a friend Do you have friends or colleagues who would like to know about this page or about this website? Click on the blue arrow to share it with them.   To find additional teaching guides on this and related topics for K-12, click here. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS If you are using the video, ask the first two questions before viewing. 1. When somebody says "just be yourself," what does that mean? 2. Is it always easy to be yourself, or can it sometimes be difficult? Why? How? Give examples. 3. The kids in the video talked a lot about "fitting in." What does "fitting in" mean? How do you do it? 4. The kids in the video said that at their school there's a lot of pressure to fit in. Is that true here? What do you have to do to fit in here? 5. Does fitting in ever make it hard to be yourself? 6. What if you don't fit in? Is that okay, or does it mean there's something wrong with you? 7. Are there groups here in school? Cliques? (Gangs) What are they? 8. Why do these groups exist? What do they do for the people in them? 9. Does being in a group sometimes make it harder to be yourself? How? In what way? Examples? 10. Are there pressures to fit into these groups? If so, describe the pressures. 11. Is it okay not to be in a group? 12. The kids in the video said that when we're in groups, the group sometimes makes our choices for us. Do you agree? Can you give examples? Is that good? 13. Do all the kids in a group have the same values? 14. What do values have to do with making choices? 15. Do you think that sometimes people make choices that conflict with their values? Can you give an example? Are they aware that they're doing that? What would cause somebody to make a choice that conflicts with his/her values? 16. In the hypothetical situation about the group wanting you to help steal a tape, what values are in conflict? What would you do? 17. One girl in the video said that when you believe strongly in something, you can't just be pushed whichever way the wind blows. What do you think she meant by that? Do you agree or disagree? Can you give a personal example? 18. How do you know what your values are? 19. Do you think we are born with values or we learn them? If we learn them, how do we learn them? Who helps you figure out what you value? 20. Is it sometimes hard to live by your values? (Do you sometimes have to make a sacrifice in order to do what is right?) Is it worth it? Why? 21. How can you benefit from knowing what your values are? 22. What was most meaningful to you in this video? Why?