Qureshi University, Advanced courses, via cutting edge technology, News, Breaking News | Latest News And Media

Qureshi University, Advanced courses, via cutting edge technology, News, Breaking News | Latest News And Media | Current News

admin@qureshiuniversity.com

Behavior

What is normal behavior for a child?
What can I do to change my child's behavior?
How do I stop misbehavior?
How do I use the time-out method?
How do I encourage a new, desired behavior?
What are some good ways to reward my child?
What else can I do to help my child behave well?
What is Discipline?
How Can I Discipline My Child Without Spanking?
How Can I Help My Child Develop Healthy Self-Esteem?
How do children acquire good behavior?

Q: What is good character?
Q: What is good behavior?
Q: What is normal behavior for a child?
Q: What can I do to change my child's behavior?
Q: How do I stop misbehavior?
Q: How do I use the time-out method?
Q: How do I encourage a new, desired behavior?
Q: What are some good ways to reward my child?
Q: What else can I do to help my child behave well?
Q: What is Discipline?
Q: How Can I Discipline My Child Without Spanking?
Q: How Can I Help My Child Develop Healthy Self-Esteem?
Q: How do children acquire good behavior? What is normal behavior for a child?
Normal behavior in children depends on the child's age, personality, and physical and emotional development. A child's behavior may be a problem if it doesn't match the expectations of the family or if it is disruptive. Normal or "good" behavior is usually determined by whether it's socially, culturally and developmentally appropriate. Knowing what to expect from your child at each age will help you decide whether his or her behavior is normal.

What can I do to change my child's behavior?
Children tend to continue a behavior when it is rewarded and stop a behavior when it is ignored. Consistency in your reaction to a behavior is important because rewarding and punishing the same behavior at different times confuses your child. When your child's behavior is a problem, you have 3 choices:

* Decide that the behavior is not a problem because it's appropriate to the child's age and stage of development.

* Attempt to stop the behavior, either by ignoring it or by punishing it.

* Introduce a new behavior that you prefer and reinforce it by rewarding your child.

How do I stop misbehavior?
The best way to stop unwanted behavior is to ignore it. This way works best over a period of time. When you want the behavior to stop immediately, you can use the time-out method.

How do I use the time-out method?
Decide ahead of time the behaviors that will result in a time-out--usually tantrums, or aggressive or dangerous behavior. Choose a time-out place that is uninteresting for the child and not frightening, such as a chair, corner or playpen. When you're away from home, consider using a car or a nearby seating area as a time-out place.

When the unacceptable behavior occurs, tell the child the behavior is unacceptable and give a warning that you will put him or her in time-out if the behavior doesn't stop. Remain calm and don't look angry. If your child goes on misbehaving, calmly take him or her to the time-out area.

If possible, keep track of how long your child's been in time-out. Set a timer so your child will know when time-out is over. Time-out should be brief--generally 1 minute for each year of age--and should begin immediately after reaching the time-out place or after the child calms down. You should stay within sight or earshot of the child, but don't talk to him or her. If the child leaves the time-out area, gently return him or her to the area and consider resetting the timer. When the time-out is over, let the child leave the time-out place. Don't discuss the bad behavior, but look for ways to reward and reinforce good behavior later on.

How do I encourage a new, desired behavior?
One way to encourage good behavior is to use a reward system. This works best in children over 2 years of age. It can take up to 2 months to work. Being patient and keeping a diary of behavior can be helpful to parents.

Choose 1 to 2 behaviors you would like to change (such as bedtime habits, tooth brushing or picking up toys). Choose a reward your child would enjoy. Examples of good rewards are an extra bedtime story, delaying bedtime by half an hour, a preferred snack or, for older children, earning points toward a special toy, a privilege or a small amount of money.

Explain the desired behavior and the reward to the child. For example, "If you get into your pajamas and brush your teeth before this TV show is over, you can stay up a half hour later." Request the behavior only one time. If the child does what you ask, give the reward. You can help the child if necessary but don't get too involved. Because any attention from parents, even negative attention, is so rewarding to children, they may prefer to have parental attention instead of a reward at first. Transition statements, such as, "In 5 minutes, play time will be over," are helpful when you are teaching your child new behaviors.

This system helps you avoid power struggles with your child. However, your child is not punished if he or she chooses not to behave as you ask; he or she simply does not get the reward.

What are some good ways to reward my child?
Ask the child to do a task. Set a timer. If the task is done before the timer rings, your child gets a reward. To decide the amount of time to give the child, figure out your child's "best time" to do that task and add 5 minutes.

The Good Behavior Game (good for teaching a new behavior)

Write a short list of good behaviors on a chart and mark the chart with a star each time you see the good behavior. After your child has earned a small number of stars (depending on the child's age), give him or her a reward.

Good Marks/Bad Marks (best method for difficult, highly active children)

In a short time (about an hour) put a mark on a chart or on your child's hand each time you see him or her performing a good behavior. For example, if you see your child playing quietly, solving a problem without fighting, picking up toys or reading a book, you would mark the chart. After a certain number of marks, give your child a reward. You can also make negative marks each time a bad behavior occurs. If you do this, only give your child a reward if there are more positive marks than negative marks.

Developing Quiet Time (often useful when you're making supper)

Ask your child to play quietly alone or with a sibling for a short time (maybe 30 minutes). Check on your child frequently (every 2 to 5 minutes, depending on the child's age) and give a reward or a token for each few minutes they were quiet or playing well. Gradually increase the intervals (go from checking your child's behavior every 2 to 5 minutes to checking every 30 minutes), but continue to give rewards for each time period your child was quiet or played well.

What else can I do to help my child behave well?
Make a short list of important rules and go over them with your child. Avoid power struggles, no-win situations and extremes. When you think you've overreacted, it's better to use common sense to solve the problem, even if you have to be inconsistent with your reward or punishment method. Avoid doing this often as it may confuse your child.

Accept your child's basic personality, whether it's shy, social, talkative or active. Basic personality can be changed a little, but not very much. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired or bored. Don't criticize your child in front of other people. Describe your child's behavior as bad, but don't label your child as bad. Praise your child often when he or she deserves it. Touch him or her affectionately and often. Children want and need attention from their parents.

Develop little routines and rituals, especially at bedtimes and meal times. Provide transition remarks (such as "In 5 minutes, we'll be eating dinner."). Allow your child choices whenever possible. For example, you can ask, "Do you want to wear your red pajamas or your blue pajamas to bed tonight?"

As children get older, they may enjoy becoming involved in household rule making. Don't debate the rules at the time of misbehavior, but invite your child to participate in rule making at another time.

Children who learn that bad behavior is not tolerated and that good behavior is rewarded are learning skills that will last them a lifetime.

How do I know if my child's behavior is normal?

Parents often have difficulty telling the difference between variations in normal behavior and true behavioral problems. In reality, the difference between normal and abnormal behavior is not always clear; usually it is a matter of degree or expectation. A fine line often divides normal from abnormal behavior, in part because what is "normal" depends upon the child's level of development, which can vary greatly among children of the same age. Development can be uneven, too, with a child's social development lagging behind his intellectual growth, or vice versa. In addition, "normal" behavior is in part determined by the context in which it occurs - that is, by the particular situation and time, as well as by the child's own particular family values and expectations, and cultural and social background.

Understanding your child's unique developmental progress is necessary in order to interpret, accept or adapt his behavior (as well as your own). Remember, children have great individual variations of temperament, development and behavior.

Three types of behavior

Some parents find it helpful to consider three general kinds of behavior:

1. Some kinds of behavior are wanted and approved. They might include doing homework, being polite, and doing chores. These actions receive compliments freely and easily.

2. Other behavior is not sanctioned but is tolerated under certain conditions, such as during times of illness (of a parent or a child) or stress (a move, for instance, or the birth of a new sibling). These kinds of behavior might include not doing chores, regressive behavior (such as baby talk), or being excessively self-centered.

3. Still other kinds of behavior cannot and should not be tolerated or reinforced. They include actions that are harmful to the physical, emotional, or social well-being of the child, the family members, and others. They may interfere with the child's intellectual development. They may be forbidden by law, ethics, religion, or social mores. They might include very aggressive or destructive behavior, overt racism or prejudice, stealing, truancy, smoking or substance abuse, school failure, or an intense sibling rivalry.

Your response plays a role

Your own parental responses are guided by whether you see the behavior as a problem. Frequently, parents overinterpret or overreact to a minor, normal short-term change in behavior. At the other extreme, they may ignore or downplay a serious problem. They also may seek quick, simple answers to what are, in fact, complex problems. All of these responses may create difficulties or prolong the time for a resolution.

Behavior that parents tolerate, disregard or consider reasonable differs from one family to the next. Some of these differences come from the parents' own upbringing; they may have had very strict or very permissive parents themselves, and their expectations of their children follow accordingly. Other behavior is considered a problem when parents feel that people are judging them for their child's behavior; this leads to an inconsistent response from the parents, who may tolerate behavior at home that they are embarrassed by in public.

The parents' own temperament, usual mood, and daily pressures will also influence how they interpret the child's behavior. Easygoing parents may accept a wider range of behavior as normal and be slower to label something a problem, while parents who are by nature more stern move more quickly to discipline their children. Depressed parents, or parents having marital or financial difficulties, are less likely to tolerate much latitude in their offspring's behavior. Parents usually differ from one another in their own backgrounds and personal preferences, resulting in differing parenting styles that will influence a child's behavior and development.

When there is no response

When children's behavior is complex and challenging, some parents find reasons not to respond. For instance, parents often rationalize ("It's not my fault"), despair ("Why me?"), wish it would go away ("Kids outgrow these problems anyway"), deny ("There's really no problem"), hesitate to take action ("It may hurt his feelings"), avoid ("I didn't want to face his anger") or fear rejection ("He won't love me").

Your pediatrician can help

If you are worried about your child's behavior or development, or if you are uncertain as to how one affects the other, consult your pediatrician as early as possible, even if just to be reassured that your child's behavior and development are within a normal range.

You may have lots more questions later, but if you're choosing a daycare, first ask yourself these five questions. If you answer "yes" to all, you're well on your way to making an informed decision!

1) Is the center conveniently located?
2) Is the center affordable?
3) Do I feel comfortable with the caregivers?
4) Do I feel good watching my child play and interact here?
5) Do I feel the center is right for my child and family?

You've made the decision that you need a care provider for your child. That's sometimes the hardest part. Now, it's a matter of finding a qualified provider that meets the needs of you and your family. So, what initial questions should a parent ask a potential child care provider? Here are 12 quick questions that can help screen whether a more comprehensive visit or tour is desired before making this important decision.

1. Do you have any openings? This should always be your first question, because if the answer is no and you need care in the near future, this provider probably isn't going to meet your needs. However, if you really want this particular provider, be sure to ask about a waiting list or other contingency plans...just in case.

2. Where are you located and what is traffic like during typical morning and evening pick-up times? It's one thing to drive by a potential facility on a Sunday afternoon; it's another to try and turn left into the center across a sea of cars during rush hour. If keeping an on-time schedule is important to you, you need to know what you're facing.

3. What are your operating hours? Typical hours with most institutional day care facilities are 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. or 6:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Others partnering with corporations or educational institutions may have hours more like 8 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Know your operating needs, and how long you'll need from the time you leave work (and assuming you leave on time every day) to arrive at the center. You might also ask about what happens if you are late, and how is care provided for your child.

4. Are there key holidays or dates that the facility closes? Is this schedule firm or might there be adjustments as needed from time to time? Some facilities close for all key holidays; others offer care arrangements, but often at an additional charge. A few centers may close during summer months, or for longer periods during winter break periods. Make sure they'll be open when you need care, unless you have other options during those times.

5. What do you charge and are there additional fees or supplies I will be required to pay? The key is to have no surprises, and know exactly what you'll be paying for up front. Some centers offer discounted rates for certain employers. It never hurts to ask!

6. How are children organized? Find out the ages of the other children, ratio of adults to children, and any special room arrangements.

7. Do you offer part-time or flexible care? Part-time jobs may only need part-time care. Some families may only need occasional care. Some centers offer transportation to and from school, and especially kindergarten.

8. What is your turnover rate? While a new provider shouldn't necessarily deter you from picking a provider, excessive turnover of staff might.

9. What backup care is provided in case of provider illness? Larger facilities often have backup plans in case, but if it is a home provider, a backup plan may be more difficult.

10. Are you certified and/or accredited? Why or why not? What training do you have? Parents should know whether a provider has basic First Aid and CPR or behavior management training, for example.

11. What is good character? What is good behavior?

12. What is the daily schedule? Most caregivers should be able to provide parents with details about planned activities, thematic units, or a schedule by hour.

What Do Kids Need? Before we can understand children's behavior, we must understand their needs. In addition to their physical needs food, clothing, habitable place kids need fun, freedom, power, and a sense of belonging. If these needs aren't met in positive ways, problems develop. In some classrooms, kids have to sit quietly and listen for long periods of time, and this can be hard for them. Sometimes, you'll find your child just hasn't learned age-appropriate social skills. Here are some quotes that reflect how a child might express her needs through her behavior:

* Freedom: If I don't get some choice in the way I work or what I learn, I won't work at all.
* Fun: If my teacher never cracks jokes, seems to enjoy teaching, or thinks up interesting lessons, I'll make my own fun.
* Belonging: If I don't feel I'm a one of the smart kids, I'll be one of the kids who has problems and show I don't care.

* Power: If I can't be a class leader, know a lot in a class discussion, or do an assignment well, I'll be the class clown and get noticed.

Why Do Behavior Problems Develop? Kids with LD and/or AD/HD may not pick up on cues around them. They may not understand what teachers or other kids expect from them or how to bargain with others. They may have a hard time waiting for the teacher to call on them. They may have a problem concentrating on things that aren't interesting to them. They may not have learned skills to be a good group member taking turns, giving and accepting feedback, getting agreement, and compromising.

If your child with LD and/or AD/HD also has these problems, she may decide, "I'd rather be bad than stupid!" She's figured out if she doesn't try hard or turn in assignments, others won't know just how difficult the work really is for her.

How Do You Find the Cause? Think of behavior as an attempt to get something or complain about something. Since behavior is a form of communication, you'll need to figure out your child's message. Is she trying to gain something attention, an opportunity to move around? Is she trying escape or avoid something - doing an assignment she doesn't understand, sitting next to a child who annoys her? Once you understand what her behavior communicates about her needs, you can help her learn more appropriate behaviors.

What Happens Next? After you've figured out the "why" of your child's behavior, these questions will help you develop a plan of action.

* What new skill behavior should your child learn to replace the problem behavior?
* How will she learn the new behavior? Who will model (show her how to do it) - you, another child, the teacher? Where will she role play (practice) it? Who will cue (remind) her to use it?
* What changes need to be made in the child's environment time of day, space, materials, interactions?
* What reinforcer will help her use the new behavior stickers, a special activity or privelege, praise? How often should it be given? Who should give it?
* How should problem behavior be handled if it happens again? Are there specific words, cues, or consequences that should be used to stop the behavior quickly?
* How will everyone (parents, teachers, and child) involved work together? How often should they communicate?

Who Should Be Involved? When parents, teachers, kids, administrators, and other school staff develop a behavior plan together, success is more likely. Each person needs to understand his role and communicate with others involved.
Everyone, not just your child, needs rewards to keep a plan going. Send thank you notes to your child's teacher or principal commenting on the improvements you see. Let them know they're making a difference and you appreciate their efforts!

WAVE 1: The Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL) (PDF 4.4MB) used for Wave 1 included the full complement of behavior problem items. It was administered to primary caregivers of subjects belonging to Cohorts 3 to 15.

WAVE 2: The Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL) (PDF 4.7MB) used for Wave 2 contained a subset of questions asked in the Wave 1 versions. Each of the questions asked in Wave 2 was also asked in Wave 1. One version of the CBCL was administered to primary caregivers of subjects belonging to Cohort 0, while another version was administered to primary caregivers of subjects belonging to Cohorts 3 to 15.

WAVE 3: The Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL) (PDF 2.3MB) used for Wave 3 was nearly identical to the Wave 2 version. The Wave 3 version contained a question regarding cruelty to animals that was not present in the Wave 2 version. It was administered to primary caregivers of subjects belonging to Cohorts 0 to 12.

Habit disorders Habit disorders are repeated movements such as nail biting, head banging, self hitting, hand flapping, breath holding etc. Habit-like behaviour is normal for a developing child, for example, approximately one half of all two-year-old children engage in thumb sucking. However, if this behaviour persists through childhood, the likelihood of it becoming a substantial problem may increase with age. For nail biting: * Coating the nails with a bad-tasting substance (sometimes in the form of a special nail polish). * Wearing a rubber band on their wrist as a reminder and family members can snap it when they see nail biting. Like other nervous habits, nail biting is sometimes a symptom of an emotional problem. In these cases, resolving the underlying problem can help to lessen or eliminate the nail biting habit. For head banging: * Helmets may be required for children with severe and persistent head banging, particularly those with clinically significant developmental disabilities. Behavioural problems Learning disabilities Language difficulties

http://www.icpsr.umich.edu/PHDCN/about.html http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home.html