An unaffectionate spouse
Unforgiving attitude of a spouse
Lack of proper communication between spouses
Unable to find quality time for each other
Extramarital relationships
Step children
Dealing with in-laws
Repeated conpiracies (See conspiracies in detail)

* long hours
* heavy workload and/or tight deadlines
* organisational change
* lack of __________
* lack of clear direction at work
* lack of autonomy
* boring work
* lack of proper resources, equipment or training
* poor working conditions
* few promotional opportunities
* harassment and/or discrimination
* conflict with colleagues or supervisors
* traumatic incidents, such as workplace accidents

Notice your distress. Don’t ignore it. Don’t gloss over your problems.
Determine what events distress you. What are you telling yourself about meaning of these events?
Determine how your body responds to the stress. Do you become nervous or physically upset? If so, in what specific ways?

Exercise for cardiovascular fitness three to four times a week (moderate, prolonged rythmic exercise is best, such as walking, swimming, cycling, or jogging).
Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals.
Maintain your ideal weight.
Avoid nicotine, excessive caffeine, and other stimulants.
Mix leisure with work. Take breaks and get away when you can.
Get enough sleep. Be as consistent with your sleep schedule as possible.

Definitions and Assumptions About Conflict

Conflict resolution

Conflict Resolution Methods

Alternative Dispute Resolution:

Preventing Conflicts and Violence

Resolving Conflict or Negotiating with Others

Conflict resolution

1. Lie down or sit in a chair.
2. Rest your hands on your stomach.
3. Slowly count to four and inhale through your nose. Feel your stomach rise. Hold it for a second.
4. Slowly count to four while you exhale through your mouth. To control how fast you exhale, purse your lips like youÂ’re going to whistle. Your stomach will slowly fall.
5. Repeat five to 10 times.

Slow, deep breathing will bring your heart rate and respiration back to normal.
Relaxation techniques can reduce muscle tension. Electronic biofeedback can help you gain voluntary control over such things as muscle tension, heart reate, and blood pressure.
Medications, when prescribed by a physician, can help in the short term in moderating your physical reactions.
However, they alone are not the answer. Learning to moderate these reactions on your own is a preferable long-term solution.

Pursue realistic goals which are meaningful to you, rather than goals others have for you that you do not share.
Expect some frustrations, failures, and sorrows.v Always be kind and gentle with yourself–be a friend to yourself.

Tips To Manage Your Stress

* I will try to avoid the things that stress me when I can.

* I will listen to my body, and when it feels under stress, I will try to identify the cause.

* I will practice the relaxation techniques that have worked for me in the past.

* AND I will remember to remain flexible and try different things to reduce my stres

The stress reaction is triggered by your perception of danger…physical danger and/or emotional danger. Are you viewing your stressors in exaggerated terms and/or taking a difficult situation and making it a disaster?
Are you expecting to please everyone?
Are you overreacting and viewing things as absolutely critical and urgent? Do you feel you must always prevail in every situation?
Work at adopting more moderate views; try to see the stress as something you can cope with rather than something that overpowers you.
Try to temper your excess emotions. Put the situation in perspective. Do not labor on the negative aspects and the “what if’s.”

Can you change your stressors by avoiding or eliminating them completely?
Can you reduce their intensity (manage them over a period of time instead of on a daily or weekly basis)?
Can you shorten your exposure to stress (take a break, leave the physical premises)?
Can you devote the time and energy necessary to making a change (goal setting, time management techniques, and delayed gratification strategies may be helpful here)?

What are the advantages of discussion?

Stress discussion

Help From Health Care Providers, Counselors and Groups

You may decide to reach out to health care providers for assistance in relieving the effects of trauma. This is a good idea. The effects of trauma, even trauma that happened many years ago, can affect your health. You may have an illness that needs treatment. In addition, your health care provider may suggest that you take medications or certain food supplements to relieve your symptoms. Many people find that getting this kind of health care support gives them the relief and energy they need to work on other aspects of healing. To find health care providers in your community who have expertise in addressing issues related to trauma, contact your local mental health agency, hospital, or crisis service.

If you possibly can, work with a counselor or in a special program designed for people who have been traumatized. A counselor or people leading the program may refer you to a group. These groups can be very helpful. However, keep in mind that you need to decide for yourself what you are going to do, and how and when you are going to do it. You must be in charge of your recovery in every way.

Wherever you go for help, the program or treatment should include the following:

Empowerment–You must be in charge of your healing in every way to counteract the effects of the trauma where all control was taken away from you.

Validation–You need others to listen to you, to validate the importance of what happened to you, to bear witness, and to understand the role of this trauma in your life.

Connection–Trauma makes you feel very alone. As part of your healing, you need to reconnect with others. This connection may be part of your treatment.

If you feel the cause of your symptoms is related to trauma in your life, you will want to be careful about your treatment and in making decisions about other areas of your life. The following guidelines will help you decide how to help yourself feel better.

Have hope. It is important that you know that you can and will feel better. In the past you may have thought you would never feel better—that the horrible symptoms you experience would go on for the rest of your life. Many people who have experienced the same symptoms that you are experiencing are now feeling much better. They have gone on to make their lives the way they want them to be and to do the things they want to do.

Take personal responsibility. When you have been traumatized, you lose control of your life. You may feel as though you still don’t have any control over your life. You begin to take back that control by being in charge of every aspect of your life. Others, including your spouse, family members, friends, and health care professionals

will try to tell you what to do. Before you do what they suggest, think about it carefully. Do you feel that it is the best thing for you to do right now? If not, do not do it. You can follow others advice, but be aware that you are choosing to do so. It is important that you make decisions about your own life. You are responsible for your own behavior. Being traumatized is not an acceptable excuse for behavior that hurts you or hurts others.

Talk to one or more people about what happened to you. Telling others about the trauma is an important part of healing the effects of trauma. Make sure the person or people you decide to tell are safe people, people who would not hurt you, and who understand that what happened to you is serious. They should know, or you could tell them, that describing what happened to you over and over is an important part of the healing process.

Don’t tell a person who responds with statements that invalidate your experience, like “That wasn’t so bad.” “You should just forget about it,” “Forgive and forget,” or “You think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” They don’t understand. In connecting with others, avoid spending all your time talking about your traumatic experiences. Spend time listening to others and sharing positive life experiences, like going to movies or watching a ball game together. You will know when you have described your trauma enough, because you won’t feel like doing it anymore.

Develop a close relationship with another person. You may not feel close to or trust anyone. This may be a result of your traumatic experiences. Part of healing means trusting people again. Think about the person in your life that you like best. Invite them to do something fun with you. If that feels good, make a plan to do something else together at another time—maybe the following week. Keep doing this until you feel close to this person. Then, without giving up on that person, start developing a close relationship with another person. Keep doing this until you have close relationships with at least five people. Support groups and peer support centers are good places to meet people.

Things You Can Do Every Day to Help Yourself Feel Better

There are many things that happen every day that can cause you to feel ill, uncomfortable, upset, anxious, or irritated. You will want to do things to help yourself feel better as quickly as possible, without doing anything that has negative consequences, for example, drinking, committing crimes, hurting yourself, risking your life, or eating lots of junk food.

Read through the following list. Check off the ideas that appeal to you and give each of them a try when you need to help yourself feel better. Make a list of the ones you find to be most useful, along with those you have successfully used in the past, and hang the list in a prominent place—like on your refrigerator door-as a reminder at times when you need to comfort yourself. Use these techniques whenever you are having a hard time or as a special treat to yourself.

  _____ Do something fun or creative, something you really enjoy, like crafts, needlework, painting,drawing, woodworking, making a sculpture, reading fiction, comics, mystery novels, or inspirational writings, doing crossword or jigsaw puzzles, playing a game, taking some photographs, going fishing, going to a movie or other community event, or gardening.

_____Get some exercise. Exercise is a great way to help yourself feel better while improving your overall stamina and health. The right exercise can even be fun.

______Write something. Writing can help you feel better. You can keep lists, record dreams, respond to questions, and explore your feelings. All ways are correct. Don’t worry about how well you write. It’s not important. It is only for you. Writing about the trauma or traumatic events also helps a lot. It allows you to safely process the emotions you are experiencing. It tells your mind that you are taking care of the situation and helps to relieve the difficult symptoms you may be experiencing. Keep your writings in a safe place where others cannot read them. Share them only with people you feel comfortable with. You may even want to write a letter to the person or people who have treated you badly, telling them how it affected you, and not send the letter.

_____Use your spiritual resources. Spiritual resources and making use of these resources varies from person to person. For some people it means praying, going to church, or reaching out to a member of the clergy. For others it is meditating or reading affirmations and other kinds of inspirational materials. It may include rituals and ceremonies—whatever feels right to you. Spiritual work does not necessarily occur within the bounds of an organized religion. Remember, you can be spiritual without being religious.

_____Do something routine. When you don’t feel well, it helps to do something “normal”—the kind of thing you do every day or often, things that are part of your routine like taking a shower, washing your hair, making yourself a sandwich, calling a friend or family member, making your bed, walking the dog, or getting gas in the car.

_____Wear something that makes you feel good. Everybody has certain clothes or jewelry that they enjoy wearing. These are the things to wear when you need to comfort yourself.

_____Get some little things done. It always helps you feel better if you accomplish something, even if it is a very small thing. Think of some easy things to do that don’t take much time. Then do them. Here are some ideas: clean out one drawer, put five pictures in a photo album, dust a book case, read a page in a favorite book, do a load of laundry, cook yourself something healthful, send someone a card.

_____Learn something new. Think about a topic that you are interested in but have never explored. Find some information on it in the library. Check it out on the Internet. Go to a class. Look at something in a new way. Read a favorite saying, poem, or piece of scripture, and see if you can find new meaning in it.

____ Do a reality check. Checking in on what is really going on rather than responding to your initial “gut reaction” can be very helpful. For instance, if you come in the house and loud music is playing, it may trigger the thinking that someone is playing the music just to annoy you. The initial reaction is to get really angry with them. That would make both of you feel awful. A reality check gives the person playing the loud music a chance to look at what is really going on. Perhaps the person playing the music thought you wouldn’t be in until later and took advantage of the opportunity to play loud music. If you would call upstairs and ask him to turn down the music so you could rest, he probably would say, “Sure!” It helps if you can stop yourself from jumping to conclusions before you check the facts.

_____ Be present in the moment. This is often referred to as mindfulness. Many of us spend so much time focusing on the future or thinking about the past that we miss out on fully experiencing what is going on in the present. Making a conscious effort to focus your attention on what you are doing right now and what is happening around you can help you feel better. Look around at nature. Feel the weather. Look at the sky when it is filled with stars.

­­­­_____Stare at something pretty or something that has special meaning for you. Stop what you are doing and take a long, close look at a flower, a leaf, a plant, the sky, a work of art, a souvenir from an adventure, a picture of a loved one, or a picture of yourself. Notice how much better you feel after doing this.

_____Play with children in your family or with a pet. Romping in the grass with a dog, petting a kitten, reading a story to a child, rocking a baby, and similar activities have a calming effect which translates into feeling better.

_____Do a relaxation exercise. There are many good books available that describe relaxation exercises. Try them to discover which ones you prefer. Practice them daily. Use them whenever you need to help yourself feel better. Relaxation tapes which feature relaxing music or nature sounds are available. Just listening for 10 minutes can help you feel better.

_____Take a warm bath. This may sound simplistic, but it helps. If you are lucky enough to have access to a Jacuzzi or hot tub, it’s even better. Warm water is relaxing and healing.

_____Expose yourself to something that smells good to you. Many people have discovered fragrances that help them feel good. Sometimes a bouquet of fragrant flowers or the smell of fresh baked bread will help you feel better.

_____Listen to music. Pay attention to your sense of hearing by pampering yourself with delightful music you really enjoy. Libraries often have records and tapes available for loan. If you enjoy music, make it an essential part of every day.

_____Make music. Making music is also a good way to help yourself feel better. Drums and other kinds of musical instruments are popular ways of relieving tension and increasing well-being. Perhaps you have an instrument that you enjoy playing, like a harmonica, kazoo, penny whistle, or guitar.

_____Sing. Singing helps. It fills your lungs with fresh air and makes you feel better. Sing to yourself. Sing at the top of your lungs. Sing when you are driving your car. Sing when you are in the shower. Sing for the fun of it. Sing along with favorite records, tapes, compact discs, or the radio. Sing the favorite songs you remember from your childhood.

Perhaps you can think of some other things you could do that would help you feel better.

The Healing Journey

Begin your healing journey by thinking about how it is you would like to feel. Write it down or tell someone else. In order to promote your own healing, you may want to work on one or several of the following issues that you know would help you to feel better.

• Learn to know and appreciate your body. Your body is a miracle. Focus on different parts of your body and how they feel. Think about what that part of your body does for you. Go to your library and review books that teach you about your body and how it works.

• Set boundaries and limits that feel right to you. In all relationships you have the right to define your own limits and boundaries so that you feel comfortable and safe. Say “no” to anything you don’t want. For instance, if someone calls you five times a day, you have the right to ask them to call you less often, or even not to call you at all. If someone comes to your home when you don’t want them to be there, you have the right to ask them to leave. Think about what your boundaries are. They may differ from person to person. You may enjoy it a lot when your sister comes to visit, but you may not want a visit from your brother or a cousin. You may not want anyone to call you on the phone after 10 p.m. Expect and insist that others respect your boundaries.
• Learn to be a good advocate for yourself. Ask for what you want and deserve. Work toward getting what you want and need for yourself. If you want to get more education for yourself so you can do work that you enjoy, find out about available programs, and do what it is you need to doto meet your goal. If you want your physician to help you find the cause of physical problems, insist that he or she do so, or refer you to someone else. When you are making important decisions about your life, like getting or staying married, going back to school, or parenting a child, be sure the decision you make is really in your best interest.
• Build your self-esteem. You are a very special and wonderful person. You deserve all the best things that life has to offer. Remind yourself of this over and over again. Go to the library and review books on building your self-esteem. Do some of the suggested activities.
• Develop a list of activities that help you feel better (refer to the list in the section “Things you can do to help yourself feel better”). Do some of these activities every day. Spend more timedoing these activities when you are feeling badly.
• Every family develops certain patterns or ways of thinking about and doing things. Those things you learn in your family as a child will often influence you as an adult—sometimes making your life more difficult and getting in the way of meeting your personal goals. Think about the ways of thinking and doing things that guide you in your life. Ask yourself if they are patterns, and if you need to change them to make your life the way you want it to be. For example, in your family you may have been taught that you never tell anyone certain family secrets. In fact, it may be very important to share some family secrets with trusted friends or health care providers. Or you may have been taught that you must always do what certain members of your family want you to do. As an adult, it is important that you figure out for yourself what it is you want to do. In effect you can become your own loving parent.
• Work to establish harmony with your family or the people you live with. Plan fun and interesting activities with them. Listen to them without being critical.
• Work on learning to communicate with others so that they can easily understand what you mean. When talking with another person about your feelings, use “I” statements, like “I feel sad” or “I feel upset” rather than accusing the other person. You may want to practice good communication with a friend. Ask your friend to give you feedback on how you can be more easily understood.
• You may have lots of negative thoughts about yourself and your life. Work on changing these negative thoughts to positive ones. The more you think positive thoughts the better you will feel. For instance, you may always think, “Nobody likes me.” When you think that thought, replace it with a thought like, “I have many friends.” If you often think that you will never feel better, replacethat thought with the thought, “Every day I am feeling better and better.”
• Develop an action plan for prevention and recovery. This is a simple plan that helps you stay

well and respond to upsetting symptoms and events in ways that will keep you feeling well.

Using the activities in the section “Things you can do to help yourself feel better,” make lists of things that will help you keep yourself well and will help you to feel better when you are not feeling well. Include lists:

• to remind yourself of things you need to do every day - like getting a half hour of exercise and eating three healthy meals - and also those things that you may not need to do every day, but ifyou miss them they will cause stress in your life, for example, buying food, paying bills, or cleaning your home;
• of events or situations that may make you feel worse if they come up, like a fight with a family member, health care provider, or social worker, getting a big bill, or loss of something importantto you. Then list things to do (relax, talk to a friend, play your guitar) if these things happen so you won’t start feeling badly;
• of early warning signs that indicate you are starting to feel worse - like always feeling tired, sleeping too much, overeating, dropping things, and losing things.
• Then list things to do (get more rest, take some time off, arrange an appointment with your counselor, cut back on caffeine) to help yourself feel better;  
• of signs that things are getting much worse, like you are feeling very depressed, you can’t get out of bed in the morning, or you feel negative about everything.
• Then list things to do that will help you feel better quickly (get someone to stay with you, spend extra time doing things you enjoy, contact your doctor); and
• of information that can be used by others if you become unable to take care of yourself or keep yourself safe, such as signs that indicate you need their help, who you want to help you (give copies of this list to each of these people), the names of your doctor, counselor and pharmacist, all prescriptions and over-the-counter medications, things that others can do that would help youfeel better or keep you safe, and things you do not want others to do or that might make you feel worse.

Barriers to Healing

Are there any things you are doing that are getting in the way of your healing, such as alcohol or drug abuse, being in abusive or unsupportive relationships, self-destructive behaviors such as blaming and shaming yourself, and not taking good care of yourself? Think about the possible negative consequences of these behaviors. For instance, if you get drunk, you might lose control of yourself and the situation and be taken advantage of. If you overeat, the negative consequences might be weight gain, poor body image, and poor health. You may want to work on changing these behaviors by using self-help books, working with a counselor, joining a support group, or attending a 12-step program.

Moving Forward on Your Healing Journey

If you are now about to begin working on recovering from the effects of trauma, or if you have already begun this work and are planning to continue making some changes based on what you have learned, you will need courage and persistence along the way. You may experience setbacks. From time to time you may get so discouraged that you feel like you want to give up. This happens to everyone. Notice how far you’ve come. Appreciate even a little progress. Do something nice for yourself and continue your efforts. You deserve an enjoyable life. Always keep in mind that there are many people, even famous people, who have had traumatic things happen to them. They have worked to relieve the symptoms of this trauma and have gone on to lead happy and rewarding lives. You can too.

What is a stressor? What are stressors? What is stress? What's Stressful For You? Are some people more vulnerable to stress than others? What are some early signs of stress? How do women tend to react to stress? How does stress affect my body and my health? What are some of the most stressful life events? How can I help handle my stress? I heard deep breathing could help my stress. How do I do it?

What is the stress response? What is the difference between stressors and the stress response?

What are various life stressors a human being can experience?

What are some of the most common causes of stress? What Causes Stress? What are the Causes of Stress? Stress in childhood What causes stress in children? Teen stress

Acute stress

Chronic stress

How is chronic stress diagnosed? What is acute stress? What is acute stress disorder? What is chronic stress? What is the difference between acute and chronic stress?

What is the difference between negative and healthy stress?

Good Stress / Bad Stress What is Good Stress? What is Bad Stress?

Daily Hassles

Internal Stressors

Physical Stressors

Psychological Stressors

Environmental Stressors

Family Stressors

Parental Stress

Social Stressors

What human anatomy should one know relevant to this medical condition? What human physiology should one know relevant to this medical condition? What human biochemistry should one know relevant to this medical condition? What human microbiology should one know relevant to this medical condition?

Hypothalamus

Hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis

What are stress hormones?

What are some early signs of stress? What are the signs and symptoms of poorly managed stress? How does stress affect my body and my health? What are some common signs of stress?

Do women and men respond differently to stress?

What are the symptoms of chronic stress?

What are the signs and symptoms of poorly managed stress? What happens when stress hormone levels are too high? What happens when stress hormone levels are too low? Can we restore memory that is impaired by stress hormones? How does stress affect the nervous system?

Acute stress reaction

What life stressors are emergencies?

Who is most vulnerable to stress? What is the healthy response to stress? How does the response to stress work? What is the role of the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis (grouping) in stress? What is the role of the locus coeruleus in stress? How do the connections in the brain work in stress? What do we know about using (activating) and overusing our internal systems that respond to stress? What are the effects of stress on medical and psychological conditions? Conclusions about the effects of stress What's in the future for stress? Stress At A Glance Diet for Stress Management Slideshow Diet for Stress Management Slideshow Take the Stress Quiz! Take the Stress Quiz! Tips for Exercise, Diet and Stress Reduction Slideshow Tips for Exercise, Diet and Stress Reduction Slideshow Patient Discussions: Stress - Management Patient Discussions: Stress - Physical Symptoms What is the effect of the stress response on my body?

Are some people more vulnerable to stress than others?

Do you feel upset about anything? If yes, you are having stress. Does stress affect your everyday life and relationships with people? Is this a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly or long-term stressor? Is this a mild, moderate, severe, extreme, or catastrophic stressor? Did you know that the emotional and physical responses you have to stress are set in motion by a series of chemical releases and reactions? Is stress a medical diagnosis? Yes, it is. You should ask questions relevant to the discussion. Is this question relevant to the discussion? This question is relevant to the discussion. This question is not relevant to the discussion. We need to discuss more than once a week. If you cannot, you need to find others. Stress: I have done considerable research on this topic. I have elaborated this topic in 50 different questions and answers. What do you know about stress? Are you experiencing any life stressors? What life stressors are you experiencing? What life stressors can a human being experience? What types of stressors have you faced up to now? What types of stressors do you think others have faced? How many life stressors do you know? How have you managed each life stressor at various points?

How is it diagnosed?

What are various life stressors a human being can experience?

In the last 2 years, did any of the following happen in your life?

How does stress occur?

Acute stress reaction

Does stress cause ulcers?

Can stress cause hair loss?

Can chronic stress cause depression?

Effects Of Stress

What kinds of effects does stress have on the heart?

Common Stress-related Medical Conditions

How does stress affect my body and my health?

How does stress cause wrinkles?

When does stress cross the line from being helpful to harmful?

Stress discussion. What are the advantages of discussion? Stress discussion

What resources and strategies do you think might help What is your specific balancing plan? What will you do? When will you do it? Who will be involved? How to Reduce Stress

What techniques can I use to reduce feelings of stress when they arise?

How can I better manage stress in my life? How can we manage stress?

Why is managing stress important? What happens when you are stressed? What can you do about stress? How do you measure your stress level? How can you avoid stress? How can you relieve stress?

What are some common coping strategies?

Stress Management & Counseling

What happens when you are stressed? What can you do about stress? How do you measure your stress level? How can you avoid stress? How can you relieve stress?

Coping With Life's Stressors http://www.qureshiuniversity.com/copingwithlifesstressors.html

Stress management

What are the issues? Conversation Questions Stress

What can we do to protect ourselves against stress and therefore enhance our prospects for successful coping?

Conflict resolution